Happy Birthday Bro!
October 20 marks the 14th birthday of my youngest brother - the bunso in the family — Benjamin Michael. We have a seven-year gap, but come on, that never really becomes an issue when it comes to being close to one’s brother, right? He has now entered the age wherein guys usually get into all sorts of trouble with underage drinking, girls and what not. He will make mistakes and learn from them. Good thing he has two older brothers - myself and BJ — who could readily guide him through these trying times. My brother and I are staying in Manila but we will be more than willing to make time for our little bro. Seriously, who wouldn’t make time to help out the baby in the family? Yup, Michael, you’re the baby. 
We would’ve done all those things I wrote in the first paragraph. I’m sure I would’ve tried to outdo myself in being a good Kuya to my now-teenage brother. I would’ve definitely played basketball with him every single time he wanted to shoot hoops. My brother would’ve taught him the basics of ball handling and control, while I would tutor him on shotblocking and jump shooting. But then again, I doubt if he will be needing our help. Just growing up and having to play with bigger, older and stronger brothers would’ve molded him into a better player that we could’ve ever been.
If you ever had the passion for dance, BJ would’ve been more than willing to hone your talent and spend hours with you perfecting your backbreaking routines. If you ever had an interest in rock music and songwriting, you know you could always count on me to help you out. I’m sure you know that you were with good company who were more than willing to help. We would’ve been always there for you, man.
It’s too bad that you weren’t to show you how well we could have taken care of you. We were more than willing (heck, we were crazy to be your kuyas!) to help and support you in everything that you would’ve wanted to do! We were ready, Michael. I’m sure that you know that.
You died so soon. I can’t believe that one could be brought into the world and just expire the next hour.
One hour.
You had barely sixty minutes to experience life.
I didn’t even see you breathing. My mother didn’t even see you breathing. BJ was also in the hospital if you remember. Dad was a wreck having to figure out ways to pay up hospital bills, stay at work and be in the hospital week in and week out. It’s incredible to think that it has been all of fourteen years.
Today, you would’ve have been fourteen, young man. Happy birthday, Michael. We love you. And I know, for the few moments you were among us, you loved us back.
—-
Benjamin Michael Ascaño Espina was born October 20, 1992 at San Pablo, Laguna. He expired about an hour after normal delivery. His mother suffered massive bleeding following birth and the doctors had to do total hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy. She stayed in intensive care for a month while her youngest living son - then six years old — was in another hospital with hemorrhagic fever.
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This is such a touching story.
Yes, it is. Well written, too. I thought it was going to be a happy entry… I’m sorry about your brother…
ade and Roanne: I bet you had no idea was capable of pouring out my emotion - it kinda surprised me that it turned out this way.
this young boy would’ve mastered the subtle art of sarcasm by this time.
thank you to you two - members of my dash media family.
OMG! This entry made me sad…
very touching story….
thanks mats and gee. i hope my brother kisses you goodnight before you sleep.
hayup kaaah! kinilabutan ako! haha!
FLIP ka talaga Benj… hahaha!!! you don’t know… nakayakap na pla sya syo…
aww.. happy birthday na lng sknya..
Now I’m really really sad times 2
nung una, ang sarap basahin ng post na to. it’s like… ang swerte naman nya dahil may dalawa siyang kuyang nagmamahal…
tapos biglang..
“oh shit”, sabi ko.
for months of reading your posts, this is one of the greatest touching posts…! nice..
Heartfelt and touching.
spooky…
pero maganda.
heartfelt
Thanks Jhed and blacksoul. Ok, it’s clear to me that nobody saw this coming. hehe.
I still don’t know what happened to my mom, but based on what i learned in med school (naks! application! haha), it’s likely that the placenta implanted too deeply into the uterus. this wouldve caused profuse and life threatening bleeding both for the mother and the unborn child. i plan to ask her doctors real soon.
whoa! napakabait nyong kuya! but then, wala na pala si bunso… nakaantig ito bro!
I didn’t know that! Oh well, sayang, we could have taught the kid how to play bball..
i stumbled upon your blog. so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. my son died in 1998 and he would be almost the same age as your brother. you may want to visit my website (address above) and my other website which is on grief recovery at http://www.mournintojoy.blogspot.com my daughter who was seven when her brother died, wrote a very insightful piece. hope you can hop over and visit. i know you are an “atheist” but i pray that in His time, you may one day find the answers to many of your unanswered ones. God bless.