Vaginal Repair: A Haiku
Ok, it’s not really a haiku and unfortunately, it’s not the first time I’m writing about vaginal repair. This year, an old apartment that used to be a ticketing office magically transformed to a lying-in-clinic/ dermatology clinic/ spa! Well, the fact that this clinic is an enchilada isn’t the thing that’s most interesting about it. In an effort to reach out to the middle-aged women who probably need to have their vagina umm… remodeled, re-uphostlered and… renovated, the clinic put up a very eye-catching tarpaulin that literally makes everyone look stare ogle gawk.
warning: pictures after the jump may be riveting.
Obviously, the sign pokes humor into the whole dilemma of having a less-than ideal vagina and how a simple and painless (AND SATISFACTION!) operation can be of benefit to a women in need. I’m not really sure, but it does sound a bit demeaning, right? Trivializing something that could potentially cause major psychological issues may not exactly be the best way to go for a sales pitch.
But of course, if this advertisement talked to your heart in a very particular way, don’t waste time! Head out to CHRIST THE KING MATERNITY CLINIC and get your dream vaginal repair! Remember, it’s PAINLESS and SATISFACTION!
Christ The King Maternity Clinic is located along Maria Orosa St. in Ermita Manila. It’s just a few paces from the snazzy new wing of Robinsons Place Manila. You can go there and see the sign for yourself!
Note: The term buwa is the equivalent of the medical term prolapse which means ‘to fall or slip out of place’. This is usually used to describe the condition of organs that have parts that end up in the wrong places. Organs that can develop prolapse include the rectum, heart valves and uterus.
This is obviously NOT heart valve prolapse. Hehe.
This is a fairly unfortunate case of RECTAL PROLAPSE. Ok. Let your imaginations run wild. Thank you to Emedicine for this image. And no, this is not how chicharon bulaklak is made.
Now THIS is cervical (uterine) prolapse.
I will opt to end this post with fitting awkward silence.
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on 
ano yung BUWA?
Okaaaay. Who’s been smoking weed?
It’s been a while since I laughed really hard. And this one almost killed me from laughing. Lol. Indeed, advertisements are made to deceive people. Painless and satisfaction? Lol. Kulang daw kasi yung space kaya inomit na lang nila yung “Guarantee.”
Hmmm… I know what “puerta” is. Pero buwa? Whhaa… epistaxis.
Wait benj. Did I just hear someone moaning? Lolz.
–
WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?! (pukes)
I (*fock) just spilled a whole mug of coffee on my bedsheet. Thank you, benj. Thank you.
Jeez. I hate laundry.
You should have included a beware for what’s next on the more link! disturbing yet riveting. hehehe
glad to see your blog’s okay. twas a little messed up last night.
and.. why would you trust a Christ the King Maternity Clinic that offers vaginal tightening?? not to mention they offer painless and “satisfaction”
and thankyou for making me feel horrible im a woman. O_O
tet: and.. why would you trust a Christ the King Maternity Clinic that offers vaginal tightening?? not to mention they offer painless and “satisfactionâ€
-It’s like hitting two birds with one stone!
omg., that’s just twisted., they could have opted for a more subtle(?) banner., hahahaha.,
is that like a pap smear? (tama ba?)
Delayed reaction. What the hell is on the second pic? This is ruining my day! (Yet I keep on looking at the pic) hehe
benj, anong nakain mo?
there’s only one thing i could say about this:
Christ The King Maternity Clinic sure knows how to attract and entertain customers at the same time. hahaha.
Richard: Hi Richard! Thanks for visiting.
It’s different from a pap smear. A pap smear is used to screen for early stages of cervical cancer - it’s usually done once a year. The doctor will simply use a cotton swab to get cells from a woman’s cervix. It takes less than 5 minutes to do and doesn’t require anesthesia. It’s completely outpatient.
Vaginal repair is a real operation - anesthesia and all. It will be bloody, messy… but of course… PAINLESS AND SATISFACTION! hehe
warning: pictures after the jump may be riveting. <- I did not see this. My bad. hehe
omg. i should have heeded the warning. hindi ako makakatulog nito… >.<
oh the advantages of cesarian operation for all my 3 kids
I’m forcing myself not to throw up.
Holy fuck. You goatsed me.
that is what i call advertising!
in all fairness, they made it rhyme pa ha?
p.s. the last pic makes me think of things which is not entirely what it’s supposed to show.
lol @ chicharong bulaklak. hehehe
i guess, the form they used is “diona”. an old filipino literary form. not sure though. hehe
those photos… *cringes*
How it could be painless? What, they just push the thing in and tada! it’s all done?
That maternity clinic has another signage: “Discount on Pap Smears every Friday”
hmmm… from a painter’s point of view, the images of those prolapsed organs are simply visually poetic.
Hey Benj,
You’re not making these up, right?!?!?
For some reason, your blog thinks I am commenting from down under.
ang kulet nito ah. si christ d’king pa talaga ang proprietor ng maternity clinic. may business permit kaya yan?
Wohoi congratulations nangunguna sa Pilipinas ang Vaginal Repair post na to!
I remember asking my lolo if this was for real LOL. Ob-gyne naman siya and i asked him kung nagawa nya na to LOl don’t want to elaborate na LOL
I have just thrown up in my mouth, so thank you very much.