Why Jumper Sucks

By now, you probably know that Jumper totally failed to live up to the hype and just left most of those who watched in a total state of disgust and frustration. When you first see the trailer to Jumper, it’s hard not to be thrilled by it. The concept is not exactly fresh, but the whole idea of teleportation has been revitalized by the meteoric rise of the series Heroes and the cult appeal of X-Men which features Nightcrawler - a mutant with similar abilities.

Aside from playing with the innate human desire to break away from the limits of physics and chemistry, the movie’s concept also plays with two other principles that often define life as we know it – self-control and accountability. With David Rice‘s (Hayden Christensen) abilities, it was no longer necessary to rein himself in to prevent getting into trouble. He didn’t have to stay in line and wait for his turn. He could literally get what he wanted when he chose to have them.

Those are the reasons why we were drawn to the trailer – the glitz of jumping and the fantasy escape that is offers.

But of course, for all the good points that the movie had, there were at least five stronger negative points that it had going against it. The concept was undeniably great. People would jump at the opportunity to see how a young man with immense powers would his abilities for either good or evil. We’re all suckers for these kinds of things.

Alas, it wasn’t even exciting.

Unfortunately, instead of going for a more interesting route, we are offered a very vague and shallow tweentard story about a high school geek turned-superhero and her sweet crush turned-trashy bartender. The direction the story took was as shallow as a puddle. Sure, this is an sci-fi action film but what’s sci-fi without umm… science?! Even if it were junk or make-believe science such as the concepts of the force in Starwars and the fields of human batteries in The Matrix, those well-argued almost logical ideas seem feasible within the domain of the film.

Here are the story arcs and angles that would have helped made the movie better:

The mechanism of jumping

Ok, it’s cool and all, but how does a jumper really jump from one place to another? Other than hinting that his mind was involved in the process (he found it hard to jump while being electrocuted), there was little done to elucidate this point. Does he dissociate into every atom of his body before rearranging himself at a predetermined destination? Or does he tear through the very fabric of space and time as he slips through the cracks in the very material by which the universe is made of? The plot would’ve been so much richer if these details were revealed.

 

So, how can I jump?

Do you need to be born a jumper? Can you learn it? Can you pass it on? Again, the movie offers no answer to his dilemma. The only detail that they shared about this was that David Rice first jumped at age five prompting his mother to leave him. Is it a genetic predisposition or was it caused by a mutation?

Palla-what?!

Oooh… Paladins! Aside from the fact that they hate Jumpers, what else do they do? Are they a highly organized vigilante group of sorts? Are you born into the movement or is it again a genetic trait? Why do they want to exterminate the jumpers. The answer that the jumpers are not god doesn’t cut it. Does that mean that paladins are merely fundamentalist religious extremists with nothing else better to do?

How the hell did a housewife from Michigan end up as a Paladin (from long ago) and become a magistrata in Italy? CRAZY.

 

These three elements would not really made the movie a great film- no, not by a stretch — but it would have surely made it more cohesive and less enjoyable. If they just did their work by filling in people regarding the things that really matter, I’m sure the film won’t be getting baaaad reviews left and right. Yes, people care about the plot and the story arcs – not some tired love story that was never believable to begin with.

And oh, if you haven’t watched it, go watch it! :)

 

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